Thursday, 31 January 2008

why women are more forward thinking than men

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the
Family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
Father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful
Woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an
Ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father
Will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later,
She became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at planning than men.

ive been tagged by lavender stamper

The middle Name GameThese are the rules:-

You must post the rules before you give your answers.You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name. Each fact must begin with that letter. If you don't have a middle name, just use your maiden name.After you've been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers.At the end of your post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and need to read your blog for details.

Ok here goes!! i dont have a middle name so i will have to use my maiden name which is REILLY

R is for red i hate the colour red mainly because i hate utd and there club colour is red

E is for embossing which is my favourite craft technique and i have justfinished embossing 135 wedding invites last night for my mum

I is for iecream which i love but cant have because it makes me sick

L is for losing, i am a really bad loser particularly if playing against my hubs

L is for lightning, i love to sit and watch lightning it fascinates me

Y is for yacht, if i had any money or won the lottery i would learn to sail and buy one

i am going to tag andrea karen joanne rct lisa tracy craftylass dawn

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

another rude joke do not readif you are easily offended

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother". The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he asked. "Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised. "Well then, just follow me", said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door" the man said. She did. He then said "Now get on your knees." She did. "Now take down my zipper". She did. "Now go ahead ... Take it out...." he said. She reached in and grabbed it with both hands then paused. The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well............ Go ahead". The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said...........

"Hello. Mom can you hear me ?

Thursday, 17 January 2008

very rude joke do not carry on reading if you are under 16 or dont like dirty jokes

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Tuesday, 8 January 2008


not put a joke on for a while and this had me in stitches when i heard it so enjoy

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck.She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, I'm yours.

'Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing a skimpy running outfit, running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, I'm yours.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.''Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.

'The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.